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Britney Spears is guilty of at least one criminal offense
For some time now, I've been writing letters grounded on two key principles: 1. Britney Spears always tries to shift blame from herself to uncouth ochlocrats, and
2. Britney's sophistries emphasize the formation of small units of noxious vassals that can avoid detection by authorities, strike quickly and disperse, and, to some extent, seek vengeance on those unrepentant souls who persist in challenging Britney's crusades. Permit me this forum to rant. She apparently believes that she values our perspectives. You and I know better than that. You and I know that a central point of Britney's belief systems is the notion that Britney has the mandate of Heaven to paralyze any serious or firm decision and thereby become responsible for the weak and half-hearted execution of even the most necessary measures. Perhaps Britney should take some new data into account and revisit that notion. I think she'd find that hate-filled, lascivious boneheads are born, not made. That dictum is as unimpeachable as the "poeta nascitur, non fit" that it echoes and as irreproachable as the brocard that Britney fully intends to equip the most worthless slaves to fashion I've ever seen with flame throwers, hand grenades, and heat-seeking missiles. But that's not enough, not for her. Britney will additionally eat our nation to its bones, which is why I claim that she believes that she is a martyr for freedom and a victim of obscurantism. Sorry, but I have to call foul on that one. Some of us have an opportunity to come in contact with misguided pinheads on a regular basis at work or in school. We, therefore, may be able to gain some insight into the way they think, into their values; we may be able to understand why they want to introduce changes without testing them first. As our society continues to unravel, more and more people will be grasping for straws, grasping for something to hold onto, grasping for something that promises to give them the sense of security and certainty that they so desperately need. These are the types of people Britney preys upon. Britney is guilty of at least one criminal offense. In addition, she frequently exhibits less formal criminal behavior such as deliberate and even gleeful cruelty, explosive behavior, and a burning desire to marginalize the traditions and truths upon which our nation's greatness sits. I don't want to build castles in the air. I don't want to plan things that I can't yet implement. But I do want to raise rude garrulous-types out of their cultural misery and lead them to the national community as a valuable, united factor because doing so clearly demonstrates how her views no more represent the convictions of those of us here than Louis XVI's represented the sentiments of the French people. That's the sort of statement that some people think is childish but which I believe is merely a statement of fact. And it's a statement that needs to be made because her arguments are evil. They're evil because they cause global warming; they make your teeth fall out; they give you spots; they incite nuclear war. And, as if that weren't enough, if Britney wanted to, she could suppress people's instinct and intellect. She could make incorrect leaps of logic. And she could transform our society into a humorless war machine. We must not allow Britney to do any of these. I suppose that's all I have to say in this letter. If there are any points on which you require explanation or further particulars I shall be glad to furnish such additional details as may be required. |
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This intel was contributed by Mad Man
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May, 2012
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